People often say that miracles do happen, mostly in the most unexpected time, place and setting. For the longest time, I didn’t know that my miracle happened a long time ago, way before the date I was married. Last September 8, 2009, was the culmination of the many miracles that God is providing me with.
It all started the day I lost my job, from a place far from where I am today. Losing my job for whatever reason was really upsetting. Grief and remorse got through me because I thought I’d be growing old in that job. It was not just a job. It was a promising job with the nicest package and benefits. But God had another plan for my life, so He took away the very thing that I desired most in my life then. I thought God cursed me for it. I should have known better. He is actually blessing me, a blessing in disguise, I should say. I never got angry at Him, instead, I got angry with myself, because I thought I could have done something a lot better than what I did so as not to lose that job, but I still lost it. Maybe God instantly forgave me, but I couldn’t forgive myself for whatever reason because of the shouldas…couldas…and wouldas…of things. When I actually lost my job, I aimed for an escape. I spent all my savings and my salaries for stuff I don’t really need, for things that could just make my time forget what I wanted to forget.
And so I went home, all empty, with an empty pocket, with an empty mind and with an empty heart. I kept asking God for an acceptable and valid explanation on why it happened to me but I guess I’m not yet ready for His blessings to pour into my life. God was teaching me then to be patient so I could really be ready…to be empty so there would be plenty of space for new things…to be in pain, so that I could appreciate little things that made a great difference without them… to be lonely, so I could love more and spend time more with the people that really matters in my life. All the grief, remorse and wishful thinking were gradually fading as time goes by, because God shows me what He had planned a long time ago. He showed me how He truly loves me. He even gave me miracles, just for me to believe and to rely on Him, in times I’m so weary and losing heart. That’s why when Cathy and I were still planning for our wedding, I’m confident that by His grace, we’ll get through this no matter what even when we’re in a financial shortfall All we’re asking Him then was that a simple wedding will do. But He has another plan, He uses all the people in our lives to help us get through. He provided us pipelines along the way in order for this wedding to push through and to realize in the greatest way I never have expected. The pipelines He gave us are the many people we thought we lost a long time ago. We thought that we don’t matter anymore, but I was wrong again. Our family, relatives and friends became the very pipeline of God’s blessings to us and we are so thankful to have them in our lives. I’d like to think that one of God’s greatest blessings to me and Cathy, is the very people who made our wedding possible and our lives meaningful.
Maybe, God is smiling down on us while we were in the middle of the wedding celebration. Maybe He is telling himself…”There you go my child, exactly How I wanted your wedding is…exactly How you kickoff your life as a couple.” That’s why September 8, 2009 was so memorable for us, because a Miracle from God, in its truest form. can truly be seen by each and every one who witnesses us that day.
So if people tell us that Miracles are just hearsays and all fictions, I’ll say unto them, that for once, hearsay was true and if this is just fiction, I’d better have that meaningful fiction than having all real things in my life without a single meaning on it.
May We, Cathy and I, could also be a pipeline of God’s blessings to all of you. From the bottom of our hearts, we Thank You.
for the days, weeks and months i kinda cease to write or to post anything new, is the time i spent living, living to the fullest of those things that i’ve written about life and love in general…
i went on and on in putting a standard or norm on how things should work out in one’s life, i never knew i was putting it on in mine, damn! it was hard following the path of my norms, it’s no wonder im a judgmental joe and a selfish one, a lil bit of both maybe…
i should know better…that no matter how i describe life in my own PERFECT ideals, it doesn’t follow REALISTICALLY how it should be done…reality can sometimes affect how your ideals should be put into action. here i am again, creating a standard that’s kinda hard to follow…and yet im striving…maybe because life is never really FULL without trials and struggles…
i now know what really is the truest form of WRITING…it is through LIVING those that was written and should be written soon… i became, not just a spectator of life and love per se, i was and still am the very proof of how it is to live…
lucky me, i got someone by me, who’ll be standing with me, no matter what…i may have a series of child-like-tantrums that could just burst out any time of the day, i may have short-tempered and very delicate temperamental devilish behavior and many other not-so-good-qualities…but even when i have them, i still remain the silly-old-me, who’d keep on living life with so much happiness in it, because i choose to, and because she chooses to…
here’s what i truly think…my struggles and my trials are no different from the rest of the humanity…but my true and real value is far different from the rest…the true and real difference comes from that someone who’ll be with me and chooses to be wth me, even when an angel and a demon, lurks within me…she’s the one feeding me the good side of life, thus making me good OVERALL…the sad thing is, i could never get away from my demons…even when i want to…
good or bad, sad or happy, childish or mature…angry or calm…whoever i truly am…i got cathy and i got her for life…that for me is a standard that only she can top…hoping she’ll never run out of reasons to be with me and to love me, like i am to her…
the hardest thing to do, is to wait… letting time flies without me doing a thing, is a total bane for me…it’s unacceptable, it’s absolutely ridiculous…maybe, patience is way out of my league. i haven’t learn a thing or two about patience in general, maybe because i never wanted to. for this year, i don’t know if i wasted 10 months of my life, but on the second thought, i don’t think that my 10 months were all put into waste…i mean, i’ve fallen so badly…i’ve basically became what i’ve been avoiding to be all my life…i’ve became a FIASCO, in some ways, but nonetheless, i learned my lesson well, as a matter of fact, i’ve learned it so well, that i’m now taking careful and measured steps, so as not to fall prey again to my aggresive and foolish nature… God! experience costs a fortune…i must say..it just cost me my life’s savings…at least, not my life…that’s the worst thing that could happen…and it may cost me money, sp to speak, but not my heart, not my love, not my family…my God…that would definitely be a tragedy…what happened to me and cathy, might consider be a tragedy, but for what it’s worth, it triggers a bountiful of hope in us…i know God planned it well down to a tee, of what should rteally happen to our lives…im still faithful that at the end of it all…things will definitely be what i’m praying for…
May God make me and cathy and the whole of my family a better servants of HIS will…
im celebrating LIFE…still…i opted to…hope you can join me…
this will be the first time i’ll be attending a bloggers summit…hope i’ll pass all the requirements…i always try to make my blogs private, but maybe this is the right time to make it public…i wanna learn more about blogging and i wanna learn it first hand. from the very people who make minds twirl…who make hearts grow fonder…and those who make life, a type in a pocket thing…no matter how hard dealing with it…hope this chance is an eventful one.MBS2, here i come…
CO-PRESENTERS:
NOKIA (Philippines), Inc.
Mayor Pedro B. Acharon, Jr.
Congresswoman Darlene Antonino-Custodio
ABS-CBN Regional Network Group
Mindanao Bloggers
Bariles Republic
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ACLC-Skeptron Ventures, Inc.
Gregoria Printing Press
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Asia United Bank
NoKiAHOST.COM - P5/day Philippines Webhosting
Family Country Hotel & Convention Center
East Asia Royale Hotel
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GensanSALE.COM - AnyThings for Sale in Gensan
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Dellosa Design Builders, Inc.
I wanted to tell a story that may inspire a million or maybe not. Just a simple story that could be told by any one in any given time and place. This story could take its form from fiction or maybe in reality. Whatever’s my mind telling me now, whether I’m dreaming or just letting things flip through my mind, I just can’t help myself not to tell the world about the greatest story my life had gone through recently.
My own true version of biographical story isn’t something that brings courage and hopes to be heroic or to be psychotic at the same time. It’s just a matter of telling the world how i was when I met a girl on a magical momentous bus ride of my life.
I need not to fight another nation’s hero so as to grab popularity or even honor for our country’s sake like a known boxer. I need not to rebut any implications of politician’s mouthful speeches in a senate or congressional slate. I need no priest or guru or any holy man to tell me what a true and sincere promise should really mean. All that I need is a symbol or a representation that someone mightier and holier than us, humans, is there watching and guiding us in our day to day life…just so, to say an eventful or phenomenal promise, to a certain girl I’ve met on a bus ride in the premise of a holy ground.That promise is still true up to this day. That promise that put giggles through my nerve endings when I think of how I said it. It was the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done my whole life. I guess, the fear in me, of losing someone so great, is written all over me that time, that’s why a promise was all I could do even if the time we spent was just a minute of forever. The promise I made to a girl so exta-ordinary in so many ways was the girl I long for…for the longest time of my life.
That girl is not a sought-after lady that every testoterone-carrier creature would certainly go over gaga for…but in my sight, she is. She is not as sophisticated as the girl we Filipinos usually see in our TV screens in soap operas during our twilight TV time feast…but for me…she was and she still is. She smiles so ordinary yet the impact she’d been implying to my heart is so glorious…that the very smile she wears makes me want to know her true persona more in a deeper sense…that same smile she blurted out in her beautiful face is as lovely as a sunny afternoon on a spring sunny day…that wonderful smile is the one that captured me the whole time I was with her.
I know deep within me and within the premise of my faith, God is working in all ways and all the time. I guess, He was working within me, interrupting me, saying advises to me that the very girl in front of me is someone I might not want to let go. I thanked God, He interfered. I thanked God that He made all things so right even when I’m still nursing my painful losses especially about the planned career that was put into waste. I keep praying to Him on what to do and on what to say. I’m not sure if what I did was right…making a promise in front of this lovely girl and in front of the Supreme One, to love her and to offer her all of what I can.
Well, I think “my Story”, started from a bus ride to a promise and now the “REAL” story will just be starting. God knows how He would jot this down in a life-plan journal of love. I’m now looking forward into it…on how God would make His real masterpiece out of me and out of her. Anyway, have i told you that the girl’s name is Cathy. Well now you know…just sit tight with me and see how this story unfolds.
i love you even without knowing how or when or from where…
i love you even without asking why…
i love you just by being what you truly are to me…
i really love you..
and that i am very much sure of…
i love you beyond any word could ever be said…
i love you and my love won’t deteriorate at all…
i love you and this love i offer won’t be obsolete…
you will highly be demanded by my heart…
all the time…all the way…
and until the day my life is through…
i love you even to the point of losing my life’s priorities in exchange of being loved in return by you…
i love you…and in my life that’s all that really matters…
because you mean the world to me.
this is the very moment that i’ve got nothing to hide
and maybe everything to lose
i even have swallowed up my pride
and i am not afraid anymore
for i really love you
and i want to love you more…
loving you in any way makes me happy
loving you makes everyday of my life complete
i love you and i don’t care if other people made me deplete
i love you without any questions…doubt… or confusion.
i love you and you’re the one the makes me breath everyday
i love you with all that i am…
with all that i have…
with all that i can…
with all my heart…
and please let me love you…
with all of my life.
im in the inside looking out…of my journey… of my failures(so many)…of my success(if there’s any)…of my soul…of my heart and of my love.
at the end of the day, i still feel so blessed…even when things in my life (almost all of the things in my life) aren’t working out. i dream of dreams, yet these dreams are slowly and gradually slipping away.i wanted it badly to last yet time and chance won’t allow them. apart from it all, i know and i’m personally saying it out loud…i’m still blessed. i’m defintely blessed by many things and most of it are intangible. im definitely wealthy with intagible things. i think all of us do, or so i thought.
my best mentors of aknowledging what’s really important in life are my parents. simplicity in being was all they could taught us first hand.even when we were kids, i and my two brothers, can live with anything and anywhere so long as we’re together, so long as we could still eat at least three meals a day.my parents worked so hard to earn and to give us a simple yet comfortable life.
yes, we’re living in simplicity, but not without any aspirations at all.we’re full of it. we’re in constant struggle in our every step in achieving our different ambitions and goals in life.
comparing the three of us, i with all unlucky steps i took, fall behind.im so behind that it took me a much longer time to take another step in this dream-path.a hump and a bump here and there, takes me so long in this trip. but nonetheless, it will be worthwhile.my faith is still yet my feet is shaking now…that;s why i’m taking a brief breather inside me to look out what i’m missing out and on how i’m gonna take another step again…in a much shorter time.
i’m now inside…looking out.
My life gets smaller and smaller as time passes by
The air I’m breathing is getting scarce day by day
Even when I got plenty of life support, death is imminent within me
It lurks, like a predator waiting to devour its prey
In a world dictated by crude morals and obnoxious spiritualities
It’s only a matter of time for me to be eaten by pride and cruelty
The only escape I have in this dark alley of life is my Faith…
My unbreakable Trust in the Supreme One that only through Him…
I’ll have my redemption…
I’ll have my fair share of victory…in His Time
I’ll know what it’s like to be a servant of His mighty will…
I’ll love like never before and be not indifferent…
Because I know, I have the heart that will stand through time…
i have the habit of re-watching movies over and over again…recently, i came across the movie "CHOCOLAT", i dunno if it was a low budget feel good movie, but i’m pretty sure it’s not like "pirates", "LOTR", "Spidey’s" material or any other big budgetted films that would make your costly time in watching it over and over again until your eyes turn so red like having a conjunctivitis for a day…or until migraine gets a hold of you…or until you somehow qualifies to be a couch-potato like me…
well, anyways…the movie "chocolat" was set in an old town somewhere in Europe where traditions and customs plays a substantial part to each and every one’s life…
i was just so moved when the Priest finally was the one giving the homily himself instead of a prepared speech from the mayor…this was on the last part of the movie…there the priest said…
"We people should not always focus on Jesus Christ’s life as a Divine Savior or as a Divine Being after all, we should really focus on HIS life as a Human Being and on how HE handle things on His own…
Jesus was as vulnerable… as weak… as Human…as we all are…but instead, He remains faithful, He tolerates, He loves unconditionally…"
He just didn’t exemplify how life on Earth should be lived…He also made it clear that in spite of vulnerabilites and weaknesses we all affronts…WE have the choice of whether we let these vulnerabilties and weaknesses get a hold of us… or we free ourselves from them by outdoing them through doing something good, no matter how small, to our fellow and to ourselves…
it’s the Season of Gifts…may the best of gifts we can share is ourselves…
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year…
cold…
weird…
uneasy…
shaky…
sweating….
addicting…
confusing…
sweet…
tender…
gentle…
tearful…
amazing…
soaring…
hopeful…
magnificent…
extra-ordinary…
must-have…
there are and there will be more of words that may describe it…
but still it won’t be enough and it never will be…
i’m just hoping that it will complement, when i say…
i found it…
i found it in her…
i found love again…
and this time it will be different…
different in a big, great way…
this time, it’s for real…
if God permits, this time, it is for always…
i’m hoping against hope that this time…
this time is endless…
